Siddharth Kumar
Mumbled Afterthoughts
Category: Uncategorized
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We have all seen the images of the infant macaque in a Japanese zoo, wandering hesitantly toward the others, only to be pushed away again and again. It approaches with the hope that this attempt will be the final one, that it will find someone who will love it, and with the fear that it…
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For a long time, you believed closure was an intellectual destination. You treated it as something that could be reached through enough inquiry, enough emotional labour, enough willingness to look at yourself with ruthless honesty. You read everything that promised understanding, translated feelings into language, returned to conversations that exhausted you, and kept asking for…
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To love in whole or in parts, what is love at all. Perhaps it is the most enduring philosophical question, one that resists every attempt at definition. Love appears in many forms. It is the tenderness of a parent, the instinctive protection of a sibling, the quiet loyalty of a friend, the fleeting compassion we…
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It’s already 6 a.m. Another of many sleepless nights that have quietly dissolved into early mornings. The city doesn’t care much for my insomnia. Motorcycles tear through the stillness with practised impatience, cars follow with muted indifference, and together they drown out the crows and pigeons trying to make their way into the cauldron of…
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The last couple of months stripped me in ways I didn’t see coming. I lost my self-esteem. I felt like I was falling to the bottom of an endless pit of pain. I questioned my self-worth and, at times, whether I was worthy of love at all. There were moments when believing what I felt…
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Those who move out of love often claim it never existed. Those who remain trapped in the crippling weight of separation believe their love is eternal. I don’t know which one is true. I don’t even know what love is. Is love an intense desire, a constant longing for another person? Is it the act…
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Sundays are days when Dhruv likes life the most. He gets to meet his father, who returns home after work. His father works in some fancy job, at least that’s what Dhruv thinks. He never actually figured out what his father does, but he finds it impressive. Impressive enough to brag about it to his…
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If there is one truth I am certain of in all my years of living, it is that hope kills you inside. It rots you, shreds you into bits, deprives you of dignity, and ensures there is no end to the torment you are facing. If there is another truth I have learned in all my years…
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We spend far too much time justifying ourselves, our personality traits, our ambitions, the kind of people we claim to be, and the ways our past has shaped us. Every choice demands an explanation, and every change requires a rationale. Slowly, we begin to narrate our lives as if they must make perfect sense, as…
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Hustle is a powerful capitalist tool designed to lure the proletariat into believing they can achieve greatness if they push hard enough. In reality, all it does is keep the hamster running in pursuit of an elusive goal until it exhausts itself and dies-only to be replaced by another hamster, convinced that the previous one…
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I have won none of the battles fought in my headAgainst the demons that crawl on my bedWhen I sought solace from those I hold dearI was reminded that I’m the one they fearA benevolent spirit whispered one ghastly night:‘All your wars are your own to fight’
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The shrill wail of sirens echoed through the narrow street, cutting through the dense evening air. Fire engines and ambulances struggled to inch forward as street vendors frantically pushed their carts aside. From her seat at the café across the intersection, she watched, transfixed, as firefighters wrestled to free bodies from the crushed wreckage of…
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It had been four months since we last met, and our relationship was going through a rough patch. Despite being together for four years, we had rarely lived in the same city, let alone together. Essentially, we were two people who fell in love and then spent years trying to iron out our differences. Typically,…
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The last few days have been very difficult. More difficult than others. We, as human beings, have immense strength to persevere against external challenges. Not quite so when it involves people we once loved, looked towards, and admired. The objective sense of being on the side of justice causes a churning of the heart at…
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Meritocracy is a convenient way of covering up the scarcity problem. India as a country runs on a scarcity of resources. Any ecosystem with scarce resources requires that the population compete for a limited piece of the pie. When the grasslands are not abundant enough, the deer that dies of starvation doesn’t die due to…
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Women in Iran are risking getting raped, molested, publicly humiliated and murdered for their right to not wear a hijab. When women in democratic and liberal countries enjoying civil freedoms say that they wear hijab because of choice, they are doing a great insult and disservice to the women fighting for basic rights elsewhere. It…
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When the conversation had dried upAnd there was nothing left to talkWhen silence paced back and forth between the wallsWe gazed into each other’s eyes and realizedNone of us knew each other at all